First the yarn. Tammy, at lavendarknits.blogspot.com, had a competition for chicken names. Tammy, the lucky woman, works for Blue Moon Yarns and will be a counselor for Camp Cockamamie - a Socks that Rock club function. I've never been to camp, but I am told the camp counselors need pseudonyms, often chosen to fit with a theme. Camp Cockamamie's counselors will have chicken names. Tammy offered a prize, and I suggested Pertelotte as a fine chicken name. (Chanticleer and Pertelotte are the hero and heroine of the Nun's Priest's Tale in Chaucer's Canterbury Tales.) So would I go into this much detail for a contest I did not win? Of course not! I got a honking big skein of glorious BlueBoo - allegedly a mistake, but utterly perfect in my eyes. I am gazing at it with childish delight and plotting garments. Perhaps a ripple-stitch cardigan with alternating rows of complimentary colors to stretch the goodness.
The second half of the prize was RockyHorror Socks that Rock yarn. Here is an object lesson in letting someone else choose your colors. The more I look at this moody, dramatic, autumnaly colored yarn, the more I love it! It is not something the inner magpie would have chosen, but it is exquisitely pleasing to my inner artist. Thank you so very, very much, Tammy! What wonderful prizes!
Lyssa said that the flower photos were not sufficiently arousing. she also needed some vampire sex. Gee, Amy Lane WRITES hot vampire sex. Lyssa, that ball of silk yarn you sent me will soon be showing dividends.
Lucia was asking if the heroine of my western romance was off the mountain yet. Oh yes. She and the cowboy have made it into town, found the rotten husband, and watched him get shot to death. The new widow and the cowboy have had their tryst, their mandatory misunderstanding, their inevitable passionate reconcilliation, and are well on the way to happily ever after. I have one, maybe two sex scenes to write, and a little connecting filligree to embroider, and I will be ready to start looking for romantic / erotic publishers. Writing those sex scenes should be easy today. I am really in the mood.
Now, if you are easily offended, go on to the next blog. This is the porn part.
If you are not easily offended, you might consider printing this off and leaving it where your beloved might run across it. I have had reports of unexpected connections on the sofa as a consequence of just such stimulation.
Hail the return of Persephone!
The apple blossom buds are pink and swollen as nipples,
pregnant with promise of delicious bliss.
The robin’s song is throbbing with longing.
Spring’s deep, earthy scents permeate the air.
Daffodils are thrusting their bright heads
into the hot, embracing sunlight,
cherry trees exploding in climactic froth,
magnolias bursting from their constraining coverings,
spreading their delicate petals
to the tender penetration of the tongues
of greedy honey sucking bees.
A moist breath of air caresses the erect heads
of the new ferns making them tremble
and twitch with eager life.
The six pomegranate seeds are paid for.
It’s time to wallow in all life’s pleasures.
On a day like this,
how can you stay inside and clean??