Hail to the Harlot!

When fully assembeled, we were over 400 strong. For a book signing by a woman who writes ABOUT knitting. She doesn't write knitting patterns. She doesn't write knitting instructions or knitting histories. She writes ABOUT knitting.

And over four hundred happy knitters showed up to hear her talk about it.

Four hundred!

Inexplicable knitterly behavior happened all over the city, and the benign craziness of it all has surely tipped the cosmic karmic balance in a cheerful direction. Blue Moon Yarns, who brought Stephanie to Portland for this go around, sponsored a traveling sock photographic scavenger hunt. YOu could run around the city with your own traveling sock and introduce it to the sights.

YOu got one point for introducing the sock to the office photo-copier, and two points for getting your boss to hold the sock. Three points for this photo. (Thanks, Tara!!)
You got 2 points for getting a total stranger to hold your sock, and two points for photographing your sock with a local published author. This young man works on the campus newspaper right next door to the testing center. I burst in, said, "May I take a picture of you holding my sock?" and thrust it into his hands. He was bemused, but willing, and when I explained it all, he and his cronies were charmed. four points for this photo.
One point for taking your sock to McMenimins (a local cahin of brew-pubs. Two points if you can get an employee to serve a pint while holding the sock.

Two points for getting an employee at the Made In Oregon store to hold your sock. She looks quite dubious, doesn't she? I was her first sockateer, but she had just started her shift when I got there.

One point for showing your sock a local park. In all, I garnered 16 points, but I didn't break my butt over it. I know there are obsessive/compulsive knitters out there who would fall on this challenge like the Assyrians on the Midionites. The grand prize winner had over 60 points. She had written out a three page schedule for herself and got up at five in the morning to start her quest. She had a map of the city that was falling apart by the time she was finished. She would have made a clean sweep of all the items, but she had to stop to pick up her son from school, and it threw her off her stride. But if you ever want to get to know the fiberous side of Portland, just find the Blue Moon Yarn's scavenger hunt list and check out all the sites.

LG met me at 5:30 and we found good seats. The entertainment started at 7:30 precisely, but the intervening two hours just flew! We already knew we were friends with all the people around us, so talking to complete strangers was a piece of cake. We wound up sitting behind the PDX Knitbloggers and oh, my the hilarity! I proclaimed my status as a local author, and many people brought their socks to be photographed with me. Many other people just wanted pictures of my Lizzard Queen hat. (Even Stephanie took a picture of the hat.)

Everyone had examples of stunning, clever, beautiful, and earnest work. This lady hated having just a little bit of sock yarn left over, so she knitted little socks and made a necklace.

And this is Bob. He showed up wearing a sweater that he knit for his father, and practically got a standing ovation. It's a gorgeous sweater! But the whoops and hoorahs and the women waving $20 bills at him as he did his little walk on the catwalk . . . well, it was just a stitch! The seat next to me was empty and he took it, claiming to be embarassed, but actually tickled pink. Since this is Wednesday, I just had to give you the AWW shot.

Bob hadn't brought his knitting in with him, and after sitting for five minutes, surrounded by busily flickering needles, he jumped up, said, "Will you watch my pack?" and darted out. He returned, having run through the rain to his car to grab his emergency knitting. During the course of her talk, Stephanie quoted a study about how simple repetetive movements helped people deal with trauma, but that it was "not practical to expect people to carry emergency knitting." Bob laughed so hard he nearly wet his pants.

Stephanie's talk was fascinating: hilarious, of course, thought-provoking and utterly delightful. LG was, untill last night, a Harlot virgin. Now, she is a firmly entrenched member of the cult.

One of the PDX bloggers stood up afterwards, and belted out a song to the tune of the BeachBoy's "Little Deuce Coupe." titled, "It's my travelin' sock - (you don't know what I got...) She totally rocked!

And the Ladies of Blue Moon Yarns presented Stephanie with a special doughnut from VooDoo Donuts. It was the "cocknball" donut. Sort of like a maplebar, only shaped like a penis and testicles. Chocolate covered. Cream filled. I have GOT to get to VooDoo donuts one of these days!!

I stayed to get a signature on my copy of the book. That's when I got my photo taken. And I rubbed Stephanie's shoulders. Bless her dear heart, she is stretched soo thin you can almost see through her. I hope she gets a chance to sleep soon.