Saturday sky on the run

Six days into the month, we already are up to 50% of average rainfall for the month. And it doesn't look like drying up any time soon. I don't know that we need to start thinking "Ark" yet, but an investment in wetsuits might be in order. On the other hand, the last time I put on a wet suit, people were falling down with hilarity. Wet suits need to fit snugly. I practically needed to grease my instep just to get my foot through the ankle. I should have quit right then. But no, I was going to have a good time even if it killed me. I had rolled up the legs of the wetsuit, so, having gotten my feet into it, I was able to drag it most of the way up my thighs. Then the tugging and pressing began. Work this leg up a bit closer to the hip, ease that leg up a little further, then do those attractive deep plies with knees spread wide to get the crotch up and settled. Roll the spongy, clammy neoprene up over the spongy, clammy backside and hips. Do a sort of crabwise backbend to get the hands into the sleeves, work down till fingers appear at the wrists of the suit, then, shrug and drag the shoulders up. By that time it should become easier, because you will be running with sweat. Once the shoulders are up, suck the belly in really, really hard, pull the sides of the zipper together, and get someone else to pull up on the tab. Repeat as needed till the zipper is all the way up. At first you may think that the compression has destroyed your breasts but quickly you discover that they have run away to hide in your armpits. Now, jump into the bitterly cold water and have fun!