Sanna's Bag

“I never seem to have what I need when I need it. I’m going to make a belt-bag that’s bigger on the inside than on the outside, and just carry everything with me.”

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Saturday sky on the run



Six days into the month, we already are up to 50% of average rainfall for the month. And it doesn't look like drying up any time soon. I don't know that we need to start thinking "Ark" yet, but an investment in wetsuits might be in order. On the other hand, the last time I put on a wet suit, people were falling down with hilarity. Wet suits need to fit snugly. I practically needed to grease my instep just to get my foot through the ankle. I should have quit right then. But no, I was going to have a good time even if it killed me. I had rolled up the legs of the wetsuit, so, having gotten my feet into it, I was able to drag it most of the way up my thighs. Then the tugging and pressing began. Work this leg up a bit closer to the hip, ease that leg up a little further, then do those attractive deep plies with knees spread wide to get the crotch up and settled. Roll the spongy, clammy neoprene up over the spongy, clammy backside and hips. Do a sort of crabwise backbend to get the hands into the sleeves, work down till fingers appear at the wrists of the suit, then, shrug and drag the shoulders up. By that time it should become easier, because you will be running with sweat. Once the shoulders are up, suck the belly in really, really hard, pull the sides of the zipper together, and get someone else to pull up on the tab. Repeat as needed till the zipper is all the way up. At first you may think that the compression has destroyed your breasts but quickly you discover that they have run away to hide in your armpits. Now, jump into the bitterly cold water and have fun!

3 Comments:

  • At 5:04 PM , Anonymous Dave Daniels said...

    There's been all sorts of weather wackiness going on lately. And none of it seems seasonable at all. Except for those people around Albuquerque. Your rainfall totals are pretty crazy, though.

     
  • At 11:13 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Laughing my ass off...so that's where my breasts go when my bra's too tight--I wondered! Anway, my 1st weight watcher's weigh in today. There were tears. Tomorrow I'm totally on the wagon. (I go strict for 6 days of the week, and then I take Saturdays off. I know, it's probably why it's not working.) Someday, when I've lost enough weight to brag about, I'll let you know how much I weigh now. (Hint--it's a WHOLE lot more than you do, darling!!!!) Thanks for being my buddy--the thought of reporting to you that I weaseled out was actually the impetus that got me up and out of the house this morning!

     
  • At 3:15 PM , Blogger Lucia said...

    And, if the suit is bright blue, wait for Gainsborough to come by and set up his easel.

     

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