Sanna's Bag

“I never seem to have what I need when I need it. I’m going to make a belt-bag that’s bigger on the inside than on the outside, and just carry everything with me.”

Sunday, November 15, 2009

More nothing

Reporting from the battle lines again: The ninja ferrets made an alliance with the local squirrels, who are spying on the commando bunnies and reporting all troop movements. The Bunnies, in return, made contact with the jays and were involved in negotiations for air support. Before things could escalate any further, though, the Godfeather, head of the local Crowfia got wind of the fracas and called a truce. My translator had quite a heavy accent (These polyglot parrots are careless about enunciation) but near as I can figure, the Godfeather said,

"Back in the old country the furrybacks had turf wars too. I remember when the Spossums and the Cancoons gangs decided to mix it up. They didn't have the high-tech weapons you guys got, but you get a raccoon with a broken bottle, and a possum swinging a tricycle chain, and things are gonna get real ugly real fast. And the people wouldn't put up with that kinda crap, so they brought in exterminators. Poison bait, traps, gas bombs - yeah, they brought it all. Furrybacks died all over the place. Even the little mices died. A bird couldn't eat anything that didn't come out of a fast-food bag around there. Is that what you guys want? Cuz if you all wanna die, all ya gotta do is run out in the street and get squashed, OK?

The ferret leader bowed low. "It is a matter of territory, venerable Godfeather. We will not share tunnels with these lolloping barbarians."

The Bunny commander shifted his stub of a carrot from one corner of his mouth to the other. "Hell," he growled, "We don't wanna live with you stinkin' slinkers either!"

The ferret leader hissed and assumed the pose of the startled typist - one of the more difficult ferret fighting styles. The bunny commander lowered his head, scuffled his feet and growled threateningly.

"Knock it off, Knock it off," the Godfeather commanded, and his bodyguard of tough, husky young crows moved closer, rustling their shiny black jackets in an agressive manner.

The Godfeather continued, "If it's territory then split it up like this. Bunnies live on the side of the hill, ferrets live on the top of the hill. Blackberry brambles are neutral territiory. Anybody gets outa line, I'll call in Bull Raccoon and his gang to police you. You guys want dat?"

The bunny commander and the ferret leader, after eyeing one-another shook hands on the deal. No one was willing to risk the incursion of those filthy despicable verminous raccoons.

When the Godfeather left, the bunny commander and his picked squad of twenty lined up and gave him a twenty one bun salute.

6 Comments:

  • At 5:48 PM , Blogger Heide said...

    Present arms! Even when you're sick you're funny. Get well soon.

     
  • At 5:52 PM , Blogger Pat K said...

    Good grief, woman, what kind of cold meds are you on anyways? 'Cuz I think I'd like to try some of them and see what kind of war stories I could come up with in my backyard. And freak out the DH at the same time. Hope you feel better soon. Until you do, I'll keep checking in for the latest installment of Bunny Wars.

     
  • At 6:46 PM , Blogger Willow said...

    Actually I think you're even funnier than usual. I hate to say it, but you should get sick more often.

    After four wonderful days, MamaMia left this evening with a friend to return to her own home. We shall miss her.

     
  • At 7:08 PM , Blogger Rose Lefebvre said...

    Okkay, Roxie....the men in white coats who will come are just there to help you end that barbaric creature battle so it will all go away.....

     
  • At 5:15 AM , Blogger KnitTech said...

    Bunny Wars. I believe I saw that on the History channel.

     
  • At 5:54 AM , Blogger Amy Lane said...

    Dude, first of all, may I commend you on your brand of cold medicine. Good stuff. Drink more.

    Second--VERY funny bit of weirdness. Right down to the groaner at the end:-)

     

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