Sanna's Bag

“I never seem to have what I need when I need it. I’m going to make a belt-bag that’s bigger on the inside than on the outside, and just carry everything with me.”

Thursday, February 26, 2009

If you have never had a migraine

If you have never had a migraine, then stop a moment and be grateful to whatever powers that you believe in. I thought that menopause would mean the end to my migraines. Though they are now much fewer and farther between, they are also less predictable. They start, for me, with a sudden pinpoint of light in the center of my vision. Over the course of twenty minutes or so, that pinpoint draws a filigreed spiral around the inside of my eye, and everything I see is like looking through the edge of a prism. If, during this process, I can get five asprins and a cup of yogurt, and lie down somewhere dark and warm, I will fall asleep and wake a couple hours later feelling dopey but pain-free. Otherwise, I begin to get the sensation of a belt-sander at work on the base of my brain. I worry, because that's stuff I'm going to need sooner or later. Sometimes I have to throw up. Mostly, though, I just grit my teeth and endure.

Hmm - this may be a case of overshare. If so, I do apologize. But it explains where I've been. Migraine started while I was proctoring a GED test and lying down was simply out of the question. After work, I drove home and went straight to bed with yogurt (to buffer the acid) and five asprins. And slept like a hibernating wolverine. Woke really dopey and dragged through another day of test proctoring (Can't miss a day of work in this economy) and again fell asleep as soon as I got home. So now, on thursday, I get an extra day of work, but I don't hurt anymore. It's a lot like slamming a socketwrench into your head: It feels SO good when you stop!!

So tomorrow, a picture of knitting. And today, how about the story of Edith and Bob? Edith and Bob lived in New Jersey and had never traveled very far, but one day, Bob won a weekend trip to Las Vegas at the local Elk's Club raffle. So Edith and Bob, thrilled and nervous, packed their bags and flew off to sin city. Well Edith took to the nickle slots like a duck to a shady pond, but Bob didn't much care for throwing his money away, so he walked around a bit. A pawn shop window beckoned and he wandered in, drawn to some flashy red and white lizardskin cowboy boots. Bob tried them on and they fit perfectly. They hadn't ever been worn, the soles were still shiney. Bob LOVED those cowboy boots and figured, "What the hell! Edith is blowing at least this much on the slots."

So Bob bought the boots and put them right on. As he walked down the street, he could feel everyone gazing at his cowboy boots in admiration. He went into the casino and found Edith. Bob stood where she couldn't help but see his new boots, but all she was interested in was the slot machine.

Bob said, "Edith, let's go wash up and go out to the buffet for dinner." figuring that as soon as the slot machine quit distracting her, she would notice his new boots. But all the way up in the elevator, Edith never said a thing about his new boots. Bob walked proud and stepped high, and edith never noticed his boots. When they got to the room he said, Edith, don't you nitice anything different about me?"

"Did you get your eyebrows waxed?" Edith asked. "'Scuse me a sec, Bob. I gotta pee."

Bob was annoyed. Anyone ought to be able to see those great new lizardskin cowboy boots of his! Well, Bob was gonna make sure that nothing could distract Edith. He stripped right down to the buff then put his boots back on. When Edith came out of the bathroom, there was Bob in his brand new lizardskin cowboyboots boots.

"Notice anything new about me now?" he asked.

"No, your dong's hanging down just the way it always does." Edith said.

"My dong is hanging down because it's looking at my new lizardskin cowboy boots!" Bob snapped.

Edith looked at Bob a moment, then said, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bob. Shoulda bought a hat."

10 Comments:

  • At 7:31 PM , Blogger Tiggywinkle Knits said...

    You are the reason my keyboard has tea spewed all over it!

    Hope your migraine goes away for good!

     
  • At 9:10 PM , Blogger Heide said...

    But how did Edith do on the slots?

    Migraines suck. I used to have them like clockwork. I usually felt better after throwing up, a shower, water and a long nap. Since having my kids I mostly get tension headaches... go figure.

     
  • At 12:10 AM , Anonymous Susan LS said...

    I used to have a migraine but she grew up, got married, and had a migraine of her own!

    Sorry you're feeling so punk. I don't know migraines but I do know pain. I don't like it very much. Hope you're back to normal....oh, wait, Bob and Edith show you're back to normal. Almost typed moral....now THAT would be typo!

     
  • At 3:15 AM , Blogger Bells said...

    I understand. I truly, sadly understand. It's a particularly nasty kind of hell.

    And that joke is a scream.

     
  • At 5:06 AM , Blogger Donna Lee said...

    I get the same prism effect and know that a migraine is in my immediate future. For me, it's two excedrin and two advil and a quiet place to lie down (yogurt if I can get it down). I take a blood pressure med that is supposed to lessen them but they still come. Just less frequently. I hate it when I'm at work when it happens. THey frown on me laying down here!

     
  • At 5:52 AM , Blogger Ruth said...

    I'm so sorry about the migraines. Both B and Eldest are sufferers, and "suffer" really only touches the surface when describing what they go through. I'm glad you're feeling better.

     
  • At 10:24 AM , Blogger Galad said...

    Hope today is better. I've been having a migraine too. I get mostly the visual effects with some nausea and dull headache. Nothing like the full blown ones you and others get.

    A restful weekend should be just the ticket!

     
  • At 12:45 PM , Blogger JulieLoves2Knit said...

    I get migraines once in awhile too - the total pits - it happens for me in the very bright light - reflection off my desk at work or something.
    Your comment about the hooped shirt is exactly right - as long as it would stay away from my arm pits!!

    Am having dinner tonight with Janis and Betty! Should be fun to catch up - I'll let you know if there is any juicy gossip!!

     
  • At 3:38 PM , Blogger Amy Lane said...

    Wow-- I'm so glad you're better, but so sorry that ugly nasty migraine monster gnawed at the base of your brain!

    Uhm... Edith and Bob... *BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA* awesome. Very very funny:-)

     
  • At 3:35 PM , Blogger Alwen said...

    Just had another one Thursday, just as we were finishing lunch. After I read some research about the OTC migraine meds doing better in double-blind studies against some of the prescription ones, I started taking 2 of the aspirin-acetaminophen-caffeine ones as soon as I noticed the glitter spot.

    I still need two hours in the dark, but it's better than four or more and that drill in the corner of my eyebrow.

     

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