Time to up the Prozac

Have I been sounding sort of down lately?  It sneaks up on me - this gray film over everything - the loss of interest in things.  Then the disturbing dreams and thoughts of hurting myself start, and I know it's time to up the dose.  I am normally a cheery person, but with menopause, I lost not only my collagen (everything droops) but also the brakes on the seratonin uptake.  Seratonin is my friend.  Seratonin flows from those ductless glands and keeps me tranquil and cheerful.  But the body doesn't just leave it there so you can float in a warm bath of bliss until you starve to death.  The body takes it up so we are always getting a new, fresh supply,  Only, my body now takes it up too fast.  So Prozac puts the brakes on the uptake system.  In a week or two, I will be back to my cheerful, energetic self.

I share this, because some folks feel there is shame in taking mood regulating drugs.  No one thinks less of a diabetic for taking insulin.  No one says that they should go in for counseling to correct their moodiness or just tough it out and stifle the irritability when suddenly the whole world is acting like assholes.  Heck, if you have diabetes, fail to treat it, and drive into a school bus, you get a free pass!  But if you drive into a school bus because you are deficient in seratonin (the impulse popped into my mind once.  I refrained.), your ass is grass and the whole wold is a lawnmower.

There is no shame in taking medicine to correct chemical imbalances in the body.  OK?  Geeze, see?  It makes me defensive, too.

I'm a little pulled down anyhow.  I woke up Tuesday feeling sort of ehh and by Tuesday night was running a fever of 101.  It finally began to abate Thursday night and by now I am fever free but very dehydrated.  Just fever with the accompanying aches, chills, and intermittent bouts of sweating.  No other symptoms.  It feels a lot like what hit me the last few days on board the cruise ship.  Traveling in exotic climes with strange diseases might be hazardous to your health.  Maybe I should start drinking quinine water.

Yeah, I know, this is pretty personal and boring to most of my readers.  Things will get funnier soon, I promise.  If nothing else, I have the letter J to photograph for next Monday.  And knitting has been going on.  Trying to reduce the stash.  Hats and scarves.  Nice things to share.