Sanna's Bag

“I never seem to have what I need when I need it. I’m going to make a belt-bag that’s bigger on the inside than on the outside, and just carry everything with me.”

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

J is for

Jokes.

 I dreamed I was hanging out with the great philosophers of history, drinking and laughing and having a grand time.  "I'm going to get another beer."  I announced.  "Any one else want some?"  Renee Descarte said, "Oh, I think not." and disappeared.

If you trip over something that isn't there, is it an obstacle illusion?

So this group of Northern Spanish sheepherders came to Barcelona to make a political statement and were assigned a police escort.  Being very rural folks, the sheepherders were ill-equipped to deal with modern conveniences such as flush toilets, and escalators.  One fellow fell while trying to cross the road in front of a moped, and was injured, so the escort had the rest of them wait in a large doorway till he could get the accident victim to the hospital.  When he returned, he found his charges engaged in pissing contests, competing in harassing the paserbys, and fighting with one another.  The moral of this story is that you should never put all your basques in one exit.

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?  Fish.

Why did the possum cross the road?  No one knows.  There have never been any survivors.

Heard any good ones lately?

8 Comments:

  • At 12:10 PM , Anonymous Benita said...

    I haven't that good a groan in a long time! Thanks!

     
  • At 12:50 PM , Blogger LA said...

    I'm sure I'll think of one as soon as I push the "publish" button....but I did enjoy your jokes for today. It's good to have a little giggle everyday!

     
  • At 1:42 PM , Blogger sophanne said...

    fish!!!!

    My favorite!

    Kindergarten elephant joke time is rolling around pretty soon. I may have some then.

     
  • At 7:26 PM , Blogger Sheep Rustler said...

    Fluids came through nose when reading this!!!

     
  • At 10:33 PM , Blogger Tina Birch said...

    You made me laugh out loud. More than once.

     
  • At 5:39 AM , Blogger KnitTech said...

    What's the name of E.T.'s girlfriend?

    E.Z.

     
  • At 7:30 AM , Blogger Amy Lane said...

    Descartes... *snicker* teach him not to think!

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To get to the other side.

    Why did the turkey cross the road?

    Because it was the chicken's day off.

    Why did the rabbit cross the road?

    Because it was stapled to the turkey!

     
  • At 11:02 PM , Anonymous Pat Lichen said...

    Two oxygen atoms were walking down the street, when one said "Ow! I just lost and electron." The other asked "Are you sure?", to which the first replied "I'm positive!"

     

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