Sanna's Bag

“I never seem to have what I need when I need it. I’m going to make a belt-bag that’s bigger on the inside than on the outside, and just carry everything with me.”

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Important notes

Mothers, teach your young sons not to piss into the wind. The neighbor's kid learned the hard way yesterday, and I wish I had been holding a video camera when I saw him. His pants, shoes and hands were liberally besprinkled. The kid is three, going on delinquent, and peeing on the rosemary is the least of his crimes, but I still won't eat spaghetti sauce at their house, belive you me!

We have a warm, windy wet system blowing through, denuding the trees and covering the lawns and streetes with a thick red.brown.yellow carpet of leaves. A carpet that offers all the traction of a layer of lard. This is a time when us old farts get to watch the bold youths slide through red lights, sideways, gripping the steering wheel so hard that they will need muscle relaxants to uncurl their fingers, and shoving so hard on the brake that it sprains their eyebrows.

Important note 2: Four wheel drive does not guarantee any wheel stop.

I worked till five and wound up driving home in the dark last night. I have never liked driving in the dark but for some reason, it seems worse every year. I don't wear glasses to drive, so it's not a question of refractions and reflections and dazzling of lights. I just can't tell where the CARS are! I see the headlights ok, but if I'm changing lanes, how far away IS that guy? Are my eyes changing, or am I just getting timid in my old age?

Note # 3: Pay your bills just as soon as you get them. The barstids are setting due dates that give you not even two days grace time. I'm complaining, but the company blames the post office and the post office refuses all responsibility. Petty beaureaucrats suck rocks!

7 Comments:

  • At 12:22 PM , Blogger Lucia said...

    1) LOL! even though I shouldn't.
    2) You have wet leaves, we have snow, but not yet, thank any deity that might be listening.
    3) It would be funny were it not so sad that the barstids have managed to propagate the notion that if we pesky consumers were just a bit more responsible, everything would be splendid.

     
  • At 3:23 PM , Blogger Willow said...

    1) Hahaha! Serves him right. Even if he is only 3. In Indonesia, peeing off the bridges is a father/son bonding experience. I caught them at it numerous times.
    2) Rain in SoCal does the same thing.
    3) Our credit card co did that a bit ago. AND changed (advanced) the distance the mail had to travel so turn around time was even more crucial. However, I hope the govt does not bail everyone out of their credit card debt. If you don't want debt, don't spend the money.

     
  • At 8:02 PM , Blogger Galad said...

    1) He learned a valuable life lesson on the dangers of peeing in to the wind. My son was more in to peeing down anthills.
    2) What are rain and wet leaves? Desert rats forget about those things.
    3) I hate it when the credit card companies do that. I also hate it when they charge a late fee because they posted the check late and you have to spend 2 hours on hold to get it straightened out.

     
  • At 8:32 AM , Blogger Alwen said...

    Congratulations on making my husband laugh at 2).

    I guess we are both old farts now.

     
  • At 4:30 PM , Blogger Amy Lane said...

    #2 sounds like a Nor Cal thing too-- we really do drive like turkeys in the rain!

    #1 was just frickin' hilarious--and all 3 year olds are going on delinquent!

     
  • At 6:41 PM , Blogger Kate said...

    1: most Australian houses have a lemon tree so that fellas have something to pee against at parties. Citrus trees love nitrogen.
    2: I'm with Willow - SoCal roads are lethal after a light rain - I've inadvertantly changed lanes when braking after light rain.
    3: Yep, complete bugger.

     
  • At 7:53 AM , Blogger Heide said...

    I'm dying here! This is too darned funny.

     

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