Saturday the 27th Dec.

On Friday we drove across the pass, in the snow, to share in our nephew's memorial service.  I really hate driving in snow.

But by the time we cleared the rain shadow, the pavement was bare and dry, though the temps remained below freezing.  Driving across the flats on the reservation was breathtakingly beautiful.  Someone is keeping horses and cattle in the fields next to the highway, and they made beautiful pictures as they meandered through the sagebrush.  Crackling blue skies, long winter shadows, and all the surrounding hills snowy white.  Still, even though I had to pee, I didn't want to stop and expose my tender bits to the frost.

We stopped in Madras and had a nice long chat with my niece Cheryl and her husband Tom.  She runs Cup-N-Cake, a coffee shack just off the highway.  She made us yummy drinks. I asked for hot black tea with orange syrup, and pineapple jellies.  It was wonderful!! Kyle had a vanilla mocha. And  she gave us cupcakes. Kyle had fudge with chocolate frosting.  I had a maple bar cupcake.  OMG!  I'm addicted.

Then we stopped by my brother Chuck's house.  With all the family here, and friends coming and going, it was a scene of modified pandemonium.  And, since Chuck is going deaf, the noise level was stunning.  I discovered the joys of a quiet fifteen minutes alone in the bathroom.  I sort of didn't want to leave it.  But, I'm a grownup, so I girded my loins, and made way for the next refugee.

a few of us took a walk.  That was a blessing, too.  Cold air, sunshine, relative quiet.  That feeling like someone has taken a brick off your heart for a few minutes.  We're not morose.  This memorial will be a celebration of Chris's life, and he lived it to the fullest.  But there is a strong undercurrent of grief and tension.  So damn many decisions to make.  So damn many details to tend to.  So damn many unanswered questions.  I'm so glad we have a hotel room to retreat to.

We're staying at Eagle Crest Lodge, between Redmond and Sisters.  We got checked into our room, then drove back to Redmond to eat.  I was lost.  This town where I spent the first 15 years of my life has changed completely, doubled in size, and sprawled all over the surrounding hills.  In the dark, with Christmas lights everywhere, I was dazzled!  I couldn't even tell when we drove past the house I grew up in, because there has been so much construction around it.  The street layout has changed.  There's a shopping center where our neighbors down the hill used to live.  Damn these changes.  How dare they do all this while I wasn't looking?  It's disorienting to return to familiar territory which is no longer familiar.

So, strange bed, strange room. The first night away from home is always unsettled. You can hear people flush the toilet in the next room.  The drunken partiers return to their rooms in great glee, singing all the way down the hall. "I want to swing from the chandeleee--eeer, the chandelier-eeer!" Needless to say, it was not a restful night.  And now, the skiers are up and dragging their kids, dogs and equipment out to make an early start on it.  And since they were disturbed by the partiers, they are showing no mercy, calling down the length of the hall,  "Kelsey, don't forget your mittens.  And Cody, leave that Gameboy in the room.  We are going to have a wonderful family day outside in the fresh air and you are not going to spend the whole time playing games."

But I'm getting hungry, so even though Kyle is finally catching some ZZs, I'm about ready togo forage for breakfast.  (He sleeps best in the morning.  My chicken blood kicks in, and I'm wide awake from about 5 AM on.)