Chris was 52. He was a semi-pro bull-rider in his wild youth. His son is 12. It's a damn shame that Chris won't be around to help him through the teens.
But Chris is in heaven with God. All the aches and pains and sorrows of broken bones and broken hearts and mistakes made are behind him now. He is with his mom, singing and dancing and waiting for the rest of us with love.
I wish I had more chances to hear him sing. I wish I could dance with him again. I'm glad I told him how proud I am of him in the Christmas card I sent to him. I hope he got the Christmas cookies. There is so much to be done now, and nothing I can do to help. Blessings on his sister who is handling everything, and blessings on his dad who lost his best friend.

And life goes on. This tea party is a regular event and it was good to have something positive to focus on while I wrapped my heart around the hole that is left. As you can see, I am favoring the hand-painted plates right now. Unique, quirky, and playful. We hit an estate sale on the 14th and I picked up some hand-painted Japanese china that was likely sent home to a young wife by a lad stationed over there after the war. I wish I knew the stories it could tell. Six saucers and three cups, all thin as eggshell. I also picked up a couple of the pressed glass plates that used to come in boxes of powdered soap. I saw a woman pick one up, hold it up to the light, scowl at it and put it down. So I had to look, too. There were scratches on the surface, just as if it had actually been used by real people to hold a real meal. I like it much better because of that. Something that had been put in a cupboard and never touched wouldn't have near as much charm.
I now have a collection of Margaret Furlong porcelain angels, so I look for hearts and angels when I get new things for the tree. There are paper hearts and red Fimo hearts and glass hearts. There are cardboard angels and resin angels.
Did you know that cat urine will strip the colored paint right off your glass ornaments? We had an old cat that marked the lower branches of the tree the first Christmas he was with us. (We put the tree safely up on a small table for the rest of Bosco's life.) I took the ornaments with the paint peeling away, scrubbed them in bleach water, then said, "OK, what do you do with plain glass ornaments?"
I spray-painted them white and drew angel faces on them. So there are little faces peeking out between the branches all over the tree.
It's going to be a quiet, thoughtful holiday this year (I sincerely hope!) May yours be filled with love and laughter (Laughter is a survival tool) and may God hold you in the palm of his hand. Tell the people you love how much they mean to you, right NOW. Accidents happen anywhere, at any time.
Condolences on the loss of your nephew. The hurt is so raw, I am glad you still had your tea party-people are good for you when you are grieving even if you are tempted to become a hermit.
ReplyDeleteI love the Christmas tree-we are due for a quiet Christmas this year, too. That's okay. Thanks for the reminder to tell loved ones that they are loved, today!
I'm so sorry to hear of your nephew's death. It IS hard to say goodbye to the next generation. We watch them grow (and help raise them) so it doesn't seem fitting.
ReplyDeleteI am with you on the ornament thing. Every year we add one or two new things to the tree. The more the merrier! I have TARDIS lights that have become a favorite peeking through the branches. And then the 6 boxes of tinsel (one can never have too many lights/ornaments/tinsel).
I hope your holiday is filled with warmth and friends and happy memories of Chris.
You blogged! You blogged! You blogged!!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about your nephew. He was about 2 years older than I am and that's far too young to go.
Roxie, I'm so sorry to hear about your nephew. Family is truly precious.
ReplyDeleteYour tea parties are always so fabulous, just like you.
I miss your blogging too xx
Always the seasons turn, new life and death passing through - but it's so damn unfair when they go out of turn. I'm glad you have people and sparkles to help ease your heart in a dark time.
ReplyDeleteEmotions can rise any moment after the loss of a loved one. He sounds like a wonderful person. It is sad when they go too early for us.
ReplyDeleteYour Saturday gathering sounds like the perfect way to lift your spirits and surround yourself with love during a sad time. Thank you for sharing a little about your nephew and what he meant in your life. I've found soft purring kitties and a cup of tea help when sadness comes :-)
ReplyDeleteSorry for the loss of your nephew, it's always hard when someone passes, but even harder when they pass so early.
ReplyDeleteWright away Roxie. It's good to see you blogging again.
Thoughts and prayers continue for you and your family, Roxie. And thanks for going ahead with the Dec. tea. It was much appreciated.
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